I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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