I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
