I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
