what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
