So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize