He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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