i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
