I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My vagina is very pro this idea
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
