id be glad to
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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