I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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