Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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