that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
