It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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