IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize