Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
