They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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