toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
