I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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