Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
