Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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