whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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