Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Pooping to opera.
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