I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
