Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
