We won't sleep together?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize