Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
