i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I FOUND THE LEGS
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
