I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize