He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
