have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize