Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it glows. i had to have it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
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You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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