so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You ruined the universe
Randomize
