No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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