a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
