I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
