clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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