That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
