I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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