I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
