so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There's even glitter on my cock...
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