Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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