now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
