I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
