And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
