So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
