If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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