I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
