I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
