you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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