He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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