Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
