he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sorry about my life...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
