So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pants are for mortals
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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