just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
