I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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