He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
