I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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