it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
